Chris, Betty, and Abe walk in to a bar…

I have just awoken from quite a strange nap 😳 I instantly woke up and shared this whole dream on Twitter, but it’s honestly so bizarre and funny that I have to share it here as well 😂

I had bought a ticket to a movie, but it advertised there would be a “surprise speaker” beforehand. The movie was at like, 2 in the afternoon...and I have no idea what movie it was lol So I get there, and I’m one of maybe 7 people. It’s a small theater, and there’s a podium at the front with a figure standing in a full head mask. 3 people in the audience also wear masks.

The speaker begins, mentioning “Gee this would be a lot easier without this mask.” He takes off his mask and the speaker is Chris Evans!!!!!!! I barely contain my surprise by screaming and clapping along with my fellow moviegoers. I’m honestly amazed at my dream-self for not passing out and keeping my cool 🤣 He begins talking about this movie, which he is NOT in and hasn’t really seen either...? 😂 So he changes subject and takes QUESTIONS FROM THE AUDIENCE INSTEAD. I instantly attempt to think of the most non-basic and interesting questions I can, which end up being:

1. What book would you recommend that you read recently?

2. What would you be if you weren’t an actor? and 3, my personal favorite: do you like french fries?

(🤣 folks, dream Christi says the WEIRDEST things) Honestly I don’t remember his answers, so Chris Evans now I’m very curious to know them if you’ll please oblige me 😉

Now THAT would have been a dream doozy, but aren’t you wondering who the 3 masked audience members are? 🤔😉 Well STAY TUNED folks. Here they come.

After Chris answers the most obscure and random audience questions for 20 minutes, he is interrupted by masked audience member #1. The instant sound of this person’s voice makes me recognize her immediately. As she takes off her mask, Betty White yells to Chris, “ok pretty boy, let a REAL performer take the state!” The 7 audience members including myself roar with applause & cheers as Betty “takes the podium” to...perform? Honestly at this point in my dream I forgot I had paid for a movie and felt that my $15.95 instead paid for a day of my dreams. Chris AND Betty?! HERE!? I didn’t question it, and tried not to pee my pants.

Chris joins us in the audience, turning down my offer of popcorn to sit next to me 😆 (I mean, can you blame me for trying!?)

Betty is suddenly before us in a white lab coat, thick rimmed glasses, and a large whiteboard. Was she going to teach us physics? 😂

Actually yes....that’s exactly what she does. For 40 minutes. My dream-state brain decided that “YES! Betty White should be teaching the world PHYSICS!” 🤣 Picture her perfect voice and wit saying words like *velocity* and “antimatter*. It was magical lol

Since we would cheer to watch her eat toast for 40 minutes, we erupt with applause as she finishes her lesson and takes her seat once more.

It’s quiet in the theater for a handful of seconds, when we suddenly hear “WELL, I guess it’s my turn now” The second masked audience member steps up and slowly removes his mask to be revealed as.....Bill Hader??!!?!? Despite us all being shocked twice now, we yet again erupt with confused applause. Bill runs up to the podium, giving ode to Chris & Betty, and thanks us all for having him here today. Now damn my nap-brain, but for the life of me I can’t remember what Bill talked about. Movies? SNL? The theory of relativity? We may never know. All I know is he talks for close to an hour, and is then suddenly interrupted by our final masked guest......and at the risk of sounding like a bad joke, I’ll just come out and say who it is.

It’s Abraham Lincoln y’all. But it’s not normal Abe. It’s VAMPIRE ABRAHAM LINCOLN. Leave it to my sleeping-brain to totally Seth Graham-Smith things 😂🤣 Though our love for Chris Evans, Betty White and Bill Hader runs deep, blood-sucking Lincoln takes the cake as far as cheers and applause. He even gets a standing ovation, deservedly so 👏🏻

He is dressed in his typical Abe attire, hat and all, and slowly takes his place at the podium...

***Now folks I’ve got to be honest. You know how sometimes when you’re dreaming, you sorta kinda KNOW that you are, but you don’t want to say it because you may wake yourself up? Well Vamp Abe made me think “ok...this is too good to be true. But I’ll roll with this 😂”***

Abe stands before us, and we await his inspiring speech with baited breath. It’s quiet for a couple of seconds....then he slowly begins, ”I was like, good gracious, ass is bodacious. Flirtacious, tryin to show patience. I'm waitin for the right time to shoot my..”

I was like:

That’s right folks. One of the great leaders of our country now in vampire form, stood before us and rapped the entire Nelly classic “Hot In Here”. And I’ve gotta say. He crushed it. 🙌🏻

And then I woke up. And now I’m here, 1 crazy story later 😂Thanks for reading!

THE END