"The Zipline"
The year was 2013. My friend/coworker Chelsea and I were in charge of the Teen Summer Reading Club for our Library, so we got to plan a small field trip to take our teens on. We figured we would be adventurous, so we decided on ziplining!
After the vans were packed to the brim with teenagers, we were on our way. When we arrived at the Zipline, I was both nervous and excited! They strapped us in our gear, showed us the basics, and off we went! Literally! Haha. So I (being the klutz that I am) was having a few issues with...stopping. You see, when you Zipline you are in charge of your own brake. And basically if you don't brake fast enough or hard enough, you could run into....well, a tree, a friend, an enemy...basically anything that was there to collide with you. So in my terror of doing just that, I braked super hard too fast and stopped about 10 feet from the landing. Which I was then instructed to pull myself in hand over hand, and it was VERY embarassing. (Plus one of the guides was a rather cute dude who was always the first one to go to the other side, and when he hurdled himself off the landing he flew like Batman. So OBVIOUSLY I tried to be good at this to not look like a boob.)
As we came to the 5th or so landing (and everyone had by now gotten the hang of things), we were told that this next zip was the highest one in the tour. Our Batman guide asked the group "So, who wants to go first", in an underlying tone that said "Who's not chicken enough to possibly plummet to your death first?". In an effort to reedeem myself from the previous embarrassments, I raise my hand proudly and say "I'LL GO FIRST." He looks at me, slightly impressed, while all the teens and Chelsea giggle at the thought. I acted brave, but I was not. Our guide glided across to the other side, and I was given the go-ahead to jump. I said to myself: "Ok self. You only live once! Bonzai!!!" Ok...I lied. I didn't think that. It was more like: "Ok. Don't screw this up or he'll REALLY think you're a boob." I tiptoed to the edge, didn't dare to look down, and hurled myself in the most cat-woman way I could muster off the edge of the landing. I must say I was kind of proud of myself because I did look down, admired the large trees below, and then braked PERFECTLY into Batman guide's arms. "Much better", he said non-chantly. I'm sure he meant "Wow. That was impressive. Do you do this professionally?"
With each teen's arrival, I bragged of my new ability to brake. They each congratulated me in their own way and watched as the last guide flew onto the landing. As we prepared for the next zip, batguide shared that this was not only the longest AND the fastest of them all, but also the one with the prettiest view. I started to once again volunteer to go first, but before I could they told us to go the opposite of our last zip--making me last, which I was totally fine with. After everyone was through it was now my turn, and I was ready to make this zip count. I told myself to stay in the moment and to make this time the most memorable. And boy oh boy it was. Some of the trees were starting to turn, there was a beautiful view of the Mississippi River, and the birds were chirping their hellos as I flew by.
And that's when it happened.
I suddenly felt a raindrop hit my forehead, which made me shriek since it kind of hurt having a raindrop hit my face at that speed. I glanced up at the sky expecting to see rain clouds, and an instant panic hit me imagining having to Zipline all the way back down in the rain. Before I could form another thought, it was time for me to brake. And I did so, once again, PERFECTLY. (Sorry to toot my own horn, but sometimes you've gotta flaunt your toot! Or, flaunt your horn...? Or...ugh. I just braked nicely, ok?)
I expected to be greeted with smiles, cheers, and possible applause at my expert braking skills...but I was instead met with looks of.....confusion. Not even "looks", more like "gawks". As in gawking. I said to them, "I think it's starting to rain! I felt a raindrop hit my head on the way over. And did no one see my landing?" They all start to giggle, and instantly start to sweat. (I sweat profusely when I'm embarrassed. Also when I'm angry, performing, out in the snow, dancing, eating, sleeping, ya know. Like ya do.) Chelsea looks at me and says, "Christi. There is a bug stuck to your forehead"............WHAT!? A BUG?? SERIOUSLY!? No one warned me of rogue dive-bombing bugs!? I was so embarrassed, but I still laughed heartily at myself, along with everyone else-including batguide. (Guess I ruined my chances with that one).
I so wish we would have been allowed to have our phones, because I would have taken a picture of the massive bug stuck to my fivehead. Unfortunately, you had to be there. I honestly don't remember if I wiped off the bug or is someone else did, but I assure you it was removed as fast as possible. (And just to give you a mental image, the squished bug was about the size of a nickel.) Thankfully the rest of the zips went smoothly, and we all made it back in one piece.
My advice to you my dear reader, is to prepare yourself for the possibility of dive-bombing insects and animals if you decide to Zipline. I am thankful that this time it was a mere bug and not an eagle or a flying squirrel. And another tip: KEEP. YOUR. MOUTH. CLOSED. Can you imagine a bug the size of a nickel flying into your throat at the speed of about 30 mph? Horrifying!!!! That being said, Ziplining was an immensely fun experience, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Maybe just minus the bugs. 👍🏻
Thanks for reading!